I wonder how many of us do self-analysis? We all have curiosities wherein we are interested to know & know more.. about a person, books, to gain knowledge & experience, to explore the world, may be some scientific research & so many countless things. But ever do we realize that we hardly know our ownselves. Even more surprising is the fact that people are so busy knowing the outer-world that the time needed to know ownselves doesn't seem to be of much significance but only the pursuance of fulfilling our ambitions & desires likely to matter the most.My curiosity however was more towards knowing myself & then to my surroundings. Does that mean am selfish or completely self-drawn? i would smile & say "NO".. not completely self-drawn & every human is selfish - More or Less!
What did it start with? Surroundings, people around me, situations raised innumeruos questions in my mind which i couldn't answer..atleast not all the questions as my logic & reasoning power was only till my limited depth of knowlegde. I wanted to find those answers & i needed a base,it couldn't have been a better option than starting with myself. So, i was convinced that if i could know myslf first, then i would be able to know the world around me better & get answers to my questions.
What kind of Questions am i referring to?? Well, for instance at school, there used to be those kids who had stealing habit but belonged from well-to-do family. Seeing them i wondered, why the hell do they need to steal - is it b'cause they are deprived of such things OR was it just a habbit..what made the kid to steal? I still remeber being a victim myself, was shocked one day to find out that all notebooks disappeared from my bag on return back to class after leisure, it was just a week before final exams..i had a terrible time at home. Other things like, Were teachers partial to students? why was i scared of teachers or did they seem scary to other students as well? why was it that every year it was the same class topper - i mean, IQ of rest of the students weren't at par? why do girls backbite mostly & not guys? why was i always late in completing a given task - call it at home or school. How did all of a sudden my brother come into existance in our life?
With mind full of questions, it bothered & confused me. Some i would try to answer on my own, some i would seek from mom or dad. As a child it was fun being curious & have questions but it didn't continue for long. In my early teen i took the complete charge of my pursual as my curiosity varied from one thing to another & so did my weird questions.
The thought to get to know myself at the first place didn't sound difficult but only when the questions were focused on myself & about my existance made me realize that it wasn't an easy job either, plus, i didn't have a clue about the duration required to explore myself completely! And the more i dived into myself - exploring my thoughts,emotions, personality, aims-ambitions,likes & dislikes, seemed it would take ages for me to know myself completely.. to analyse people & surrounding environment was out of question for a certain period of time. However, observation persisted.
Most teenagers are fascinated with the changes that happens in and around. Every girl wishes to be beautiful & preety, to be wooed & every guy tries to be cool. It was interesting to observe my fellow schoolmates & their reactions. Made me wonder if i wished & wanted the same & for what? To me, it made sense to do something only if there was some logic or reason which most of the time didn't happen. But i won't deny the fact that i was going through the same phase, just that i didn't want to follow the same trend.. was sort of a Tomboy! always found it easy to mingle & hang out with guys than to be with girls. My analysis was eaiser as the "male gender" became more familiar with time & being a girl i could relate well to other girls which made my analysis even more comprehensible.
Interesting fact? So, after a cerain time period, when i was sure that i knew myself in an out in the same environment - my hometown, i slowed down on self-analysis & turned my focus towards the surrounding people & environment. Though unknowingly..yet, i took up something which seems to be never ending but with interesting aspects. With change of time, place, people, local surrounding, the perspective of analysis broadens & varies further.With self-adaptivity & survival in different environment, socities, cultures & people, the Self-analysis continues..
What did it start with? Surroundings, people around me, situations raised innumeruos questions in my mind which i couldn't answer..atleast not all the questions as my logic & reasoning power was only till my limited depth of knowlegde. I wanted to find those answers & i needed a base,it couldn't have been a better option than starting with myself. So, i was convinced that if i could know myslf first, then i would be able to know the world around me better & get answers to my questions.
What kind of Questions am i referring to?? Well, for instance at school, there used to be those kids who had stealing habit but belonged from well-to-do family. Seeing them i wondered, why the hell do they need to steal - is it b'cause they are deprived of such things OR was it just a habbit..what made the kid to steal? I still remeber being a victim myself, was shocked one day to find out that all notebooks disappeared from my bag on return back to class after leisure, it was just a week before final exams..i had a terrible time at home. Other things like, Were teachers partial to students? why was i scared of teachers or did they seem scary to other students as well? why was it that every year it was the same class topper - i mean, IQ of rest of the students weren't at par? why do girls backbite mostly & not guys? why was i always late in completing a given task - call it at home or school. How did all of a sudden my brother come into existance in our life?
With mind full of questions, it bothered & confused me. Some i would try to answer on my own, some i would seek from mom or dad. As a child it was fun being curious & have questions but it didn't continue for long. In my early teen i took the complete charge of my pursual as my curiosity varied from one thing to another & so did my weird questions.
The thought to get to know myself at the first place didn't sound difficult but only when the questions were focused on myself & about my existance made me realize that it wasn't an easy job either, plus, i didn't have a clue about the duration required to explore myself completely! And the more i dived into myself - exploring my thoughts,emotions, personality, aims-ambitions,likes & dislikes, seemed it would take ages for me to know myself completely.. to analyse people & surrounding environment was out of question for a certain period of time. However, observation persisted.
Most teenagers are fascinated with the changes that happens in and around. Every girl wishes to be beautiful & preety, to be wooed & every guy tries to be cool. It was interesting to observe my fellow schoolmates & their reactions. Made me wonder if i wished & wanted the same & for what? To me, it made sense to do something only if there was some logic or reason which most of the time didn't happen. But i won't deny the fact that i was going through the same phase, just that i didn't want to follow the same trend.. was sort of a Tomboy! always found it easy to mingle & hang out with guys than to be with girls. My analysis was eaiser as the "male gender" became more familiar with time & being a girl i could relate well to other girls which made my analysis even more comprehensible.
Interesting fact? So, after a cerain time period, when i was sure that i knew myself in an out in the same environment - my hometown, i slowed down on self-analysis & turned my focus towards the surrounding people & environment. Though unknowingly..yet, i took up something which seems to be never ending but with interesting aspects. With change of time, place, people, local surrounding, the perspective of analysis broadens & varies further.With self-adaptivity & survival in different environment, socities, cultures & people, the Self-analysis continues..
