I was always urs, but u were mine until..

Have u ever wondered, how often do i think about u?
To what extent would have i missed being away from u
even in midst of what i was going through..?
Moments & all those memories - kept my emotions alive,
breaking a smile each time i remembered;
Seemed difficult to foresee a future without u, to thrive!
I was happy.. with shine in my eyes & heart filled with songs
Dreamt of watching stars together at countless nights,
wished getting old alongwith, to be in rights & wrongs.
I was always urs..

Then a day comes when u eavesdrop ur confused state of mind
about insecurities & unplanned future.. but i try being an optimist;
U express the unsurity of a future together,
I shook my head again & sustained the optimacy.
U avoid me politely from time to time, yet i ignore!
With time, distance increase & communication gap peeks in slowly.
Then, Patience breaks it's limit - the Dam holding back
enumerous doubts, pours the flow of countless questions:
Only to find the immense silence for an answer..
Dreams shatter, hopes crash & with soundless cracks, the heart breaks!
Only with outbreaks of tears - at midnights, in dreams
Crushing me inside - out, missing u after waking up from sleep.

I was always urs, but u were mine until..
the moment u distanced urself.
I called u mine until i broke down to tears;
U were mine until..
u broke free urself from me;
I try recalling those small instances & weep..
I won't complain nor frame
'Cause for me, it wasn't just a game!!

                             I'll erase every memory that i've of u.
I'll cut out every vein that's deeply-rooted with ur thoughts.
I'll make it "the sunshine of the spotless mind"
except for ur existence would be erased!
Would i still be able to avoid thinking about u?
Had u imagined to spend the rest of ur life with me?
Or had it never touched ur heart to have the desire
To form a bonding for a lifetime;
It's difficult to resist & restrain the mind
when love becomes part of life just as breathing!
Feels like the heart being ripped off every now & then.

No two minds are same..
Is that the reason for a gap of understanding & blame?
Or my expectations were way too beyond reality..
making it feel like a binding & lame!
Time heals every wound; I wonder how long would it
take until the heart stops missing u.
Well, It's all past now & present looks hopeless
with bitter outlook & emotions senseless!
I was always urs, but u were mine until..

Reality / The Realistic view

WE might be living our day-to-day life which gradually turn into months & then to years. It becomes illusionary at times what the human mind forms it's views about things starting from his closest surrounding to his farthest reach including rest of the mankind who are involved/part of the individual, either directly or indirectly.Though ideally, it's assumed that we are living a real life which is different from reel life, however even real life has it's own theatrics. Those actions of assumptions, communication-gap often leading to mis-interpretations, misunderstandings, judgement from other's as well as individual's own-perceptions & reactions adds on to the melo-dramatic effects to our life & so well ofcourse.. in a way that, WE get carried away so much that it becomes confusing & complicated to cut through Reality or The Realistic View!

                                  For e.g. How well do i know you? depends basically on how much you would have revealed urself to me & vice-versa. Funny part is - It's human nature to hide things, smaller to a larger extent OR let me rephrase it - at times it doesn't seem important to mention about certain things; who cares & why should i.. afterall it's my own damn personal life!  The complexity begins here itself :)

                                 The higher the level of reformity & civilization of mankind has moved up, the extent of complicacy has just increased it's foldings.. Now, living a "simple man's life" with a simple mindset is just not possible, even if someone tries, he would be odd one out in the society //afterall, we're social beings - remember// There is always "this Fake thing" revolving, or call it "pretention". What is the necessity to pretend at the 1st place? To pretend that you're happy, to despise someone from heart or be jealous yet pass a fake smile, to speak with honour infront & bitch around at the back, to speak of trust & loyalty but actions speak otherwise; Most common thing is - To lie, it has become just part of life & it doesnt even take a 2nd thought to lie, so long it's not found out; well atleast it has now become a normal part of life. People try to be friendly & supportive - wait until you get into some trouble & just look at your back & side - seems like mankind has turned to be rare species to find. "Truth is always harsh" just becoz one likes the deception & gets used to how things seem-to-be rather than accepting the bitter & ugly truth! and how well do people cope-up //thanks to the survival/adjustment nature of human but only till their motives are well served// Men are selfish by nature, not much can be done about that. It's you whom you love the most, isn't it..? So, you keep doing things until something backfires, you get disappointed, hurt & thus stop there, just like - to change from an on-going path, taking a differnt path altogether. And the Best part - when it comes to understanding.. //i can't just avoid a smile across my face//  To understand exactly what?? somebody's silence, limited words, when every convincing word of urs turns out to be a big fat lie, u step back & curb urself just because u were hurt with some harsh words or arrogance, thus ready to even jeopardize a strong & healthy relation?? cummon.. grow up..!!! u can't hold on to momentary words & part urself from the one u care so deeply; well, that ofcourse depends on the emotional levels of varied people - some are strong while some are vulnerable, some are practical enough to asses the real life, rest gets carried away..

                As a matter of fact, It's not easy or that simple to have beneficiaries (can be of any kind) in this present era.. atleast not without any personal/selfish motive. But if you do, u're just lucky then! The realistic view is quite disappointing if the overall & broad perspection just narrows down to the simple & basic logic & events. At times, to put aside this so-called Reality seems to be more wise. It's all the good & nice things that we like, which is so part of our very human nature!!!